Tex Perkins & His Ladyboyz - No.1's and No.2's (Album)
» Tex Perkins & His Ladyboyz - Ruby Room, The, WA - October 22, 2008
If there was an award given under the banner of a “What were you thinking?” category, then in 2008 that honour would have to be bestowed upon Tex Perkins and His Ladyboyz and their collection of covers, No. 1’s and No. 2’s. You see, dear reader, I think Messer Perkins genuinely enjoyed the experience of re-interpreting Helen Reddy’s I Am Woman for the No Man’s Woman compilation. So much so, that he decided to take it all one-step further and it’s just unfortunate for us that this is what transpired.
The premise was initially quite simple. Perkins wanted to assemble all of those schmaltzy songs (including some hits that really give him the shits) and give them his own treatment backed by his band of Ladyboyz (Charlie Owen, James Cruickshank, Joel Silbersher, Pat Bourke and Gus Agars). Now, this wouldn’t be such a big problem if it was simply a late night/early morning karaoke session with a bunch of mates on too much piss- at least nobody would have to pay for the experience or listen to the cacophony while sober.
The songs covered include the usual power ballad suspects: Toto, Hall and Oates and Olivia Newton-John and then there is just the plain suspects; Jon English and Billy Idol.
The album begins with an over-the-top piano ballad version of 10CC’s I’m Not In Love. The first problem is that Perkins’ gravelly and hoarse voice sounds extremely out of place on what was originally a pretty pop song. Then combine this with some harmonies from the Ladyboyz, which sounds like dogs whining out of tune and Perkins saying shut-up at the end, and you just may begin to imagine the atrocity.
You Make Me Feel Brand New (originally by The Stylistics) sees the first of four guest appearances. Here it is Jimmy Barnes and on later tracks there is Adalita (Magic Dirt), Suzie DeMarchi (Baby Animals) and Nic Cester (Jet). The harmonies by Perkins and Barnes are hilarious. I doubt this is what they set out to achieve and I found myself sitting there for the duration of the song shaking my head and wondering, “Are you for real?”
A cover of Mondo Rock’s Come Said The Boy is another fetid piece of music. Dear reader, if you want a good re-interpretation of the song listen to the acoustic version on Ross Wilson’s recent Tributary album, because you are not going to find anything that tops that here.
By track nine (or Billy Idol’s Sweet 16) the constant presence of some really awful synthesiser becomes very apparent. Presumably, the band wanted to give the music an “intergalactic feel” but instead it just sounds like they are raping a Moog synthesiser.
Meanwhile, Eric Carmen’s Hungry Eyes is given the rock treatment (just like a galloping pack of horses) and in America’s Sandman the group completely loose their minds and think they’re Queen. The song boasts a lot of musical bits but unlike Queen, there are extremely tenuous links between the elements.
In all, this collection is a piece of smelly cheese that is not even tacky in a fun or kitsch way, which leaves me thinking if it is so rotten now I don’t even want to think of it’s shelf life!
